wish in one hand

I wish I could see inside my body. I would love to know if any connection has been made, if any little cellular wonder is making its way toward life. I hate the waiting. This journey is all about waiting and it drives me crazy. Wait for ovulation, wait for two weeks or so, try to wait out the urge to test and see if AF arrives, wait for that to be over to start OPKs again. Wash, rinse, repeat. The story of the past year. J. Alfred Prufrock measured his life in coffee spoons. I have measured my past twelve months with OPK strips. A friend suggested that since I seem to ovulate around the same time each cycle that I could probably stop using them now, but there's something so exciting about seeing that second line, as dark as the first. It gives me the only visual evidence of what's going on inside, and I don't want to give that up.