Facebook and BFPs

A picture of someone's positive pregnancy test isn't on my top five list of things I want to see first thing in the morning. Unless it's my own, but alas that's not the case.

Students can be sweet

Yesterday evening when I walked through the playground to say bye to some coworkers in aftercare, one of our middle school students asked me a question out of nowhere. He said, "Do you have a son or daughter?" I told him, "Neither. Why? Do you know some kids with my last name?" He said that he was just wondering. The student beside him is one whom I've known longer and he said to the other guy, "I knew she didn't have kids," then to me, "but you'll make a good mom someday. Just don't go all school on them and give them pushups." So sweet. I thanked him and told him that was the nicest thing I'd heard all year. It was funny too, about the pushups.

For the love of coffee

I haven't successfully switched to decaf yet. That's just going to have to wait until this last week of school is over. I am drinking a lot of cold green tea in the evenings though to hopefully increase fertile CM. Surely they'll balance each other for this week?

Added plans for this cycle

After these few days of AF, I'm going to be more strict about what I drink. I switched to half-caf coffee a few months ago, so now I'm going to go to complete decaf. Also, no more alcohol. I don't drink very much as it is, so that part will be super easy. The coffee, not so much. Also, I don't drink much water, so I need to work on that. If you drink water, you have to pee, and I don't have that much time for pee breaks at work. I might also look at my food choices to see if any changes need to be made. I don't make terrible food decisions now, in my opinion. The only things I can think of would be eating fewer processed foods, cutting back on sugar some, and going more organic. I wish organic didn't equal expensive. If the nation is so concerned about health care costs, they ought to find a way to make eating healthily less expensive and easier for everyone. I've planted lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers so if they grow, I'll have organic salad for next to nothing. That thought really makes me happy. There's nothing better than a simple salad for dinner during the hot summer. Also, school is out in a few days (thankfully), so the stress of work won't be a factor this cycle. With that plus these changes, maybe we'll be successful.

Call the Midwife, etc

I'm a week behind on Call the Midwife. I finally watched last Sunday's episode last night, and then about half of the new one. We have baby gates up to keep the dogs out of the living room, and Boy Dog was barking and carrying on, wanting in. Husband doesn't want me to name this one because he's a temporary pup that I found a street over about two months ago. Funny thing is that he actually responds to being called this, so he does have a name, just not one that I would've given him.

Anyhow, about Call the Midwife. I like this show in part because it shows natural childbirth as being the norm. None of this, "Are you ready for your epidural?" like I've heard hospitals do, as though it's expected that it's a part of birth. Now, if I get pregnant I might be singing a different tune and become that lady screaming, "Give me the drugs!" while trying to break my husband's hand. I don't want to romanticize the idea of natural childbirth, but I think if it were the norm shown on television here, and women were shown being strong and capable and coached through it with caring midwives, then there might be less fear going into it.

I also like this show because of surface things like the setting, their costumes, and their accents. Even though I wouldn't have wanted to live in England during this time (just last week they were dealing with a TB outbreak!) I like to see it on my screen. Husband makes fun of me for watching it and Downton Abbey. He says, "Ooooh, call the neighbors!" in a British-ish accent when I tell him that's what I'm watching. I'm going to have to come up with a catch phrase for some of his shows, which are mostly sci-fi like The Walking Dead, cartoons, or things like Pawn Stars (which I like too).

It's a little weird I guess that I went from watching The Walking Dead with him on Sundays to falling out of that and watching something so completely different. Part of the reason I stopped watching Dead is that I didn't enjoy all the super gory scenes. I mentioned something about it once at work, and one of my students heard me and said, "I love that show!" or something to that effect, and she's an 8th grader. I cannot imagine being that young and watching this...I wouldn't sleep. People have different tastes though, and maybe she just has a higher tolerance for gore than I do. I don't know that if I had children if I would let them watch stuff like Dead at that age though. To me, it's for a much more mature audience. Am I turning into a prude as I get older? A TV snob? Is it normal that kids watch stuff like this when I'm twice their age and I don't want to?

Call the Midwife is a comforting show to me somehow, and I guess that's what it boils down to. I feel at ease watching it, while some shows put me on edge because of violence and nastiness. If I were pregnant, I wouldn't want to chance my baby hearing zombies attacking through the thin walls of my body. If people play classical music to their bellies with the hope that it'll somehow impact the baby, it makes sense to me that he or she shouldn't hear crap coming out of the TV.

Month 11 is over.

I decided to start a blog about fertility so that I wouldn't talk everyone's ear off about it. Today is CD 30, which is a little long for me, so I decided to test. Stark negative. I should've known to just wait. This negative left me really disgruntled but determined at the same time. I'm going to do some mixed things this month. First, I'm throwing out most of  the books about pregnancy I've gotten at used book stores. They were cart before the horse purchases, and I've read through them all. I'm in an organizing phase anyhow and need to pare things down. One hindrance in getting nice and organized is having too much stuff. So, out with many of the pregnancy books.

Even though I'm getting rid of some things, there are others that I feel are necessary to our trying to conceive kit. I reordered some cheap ovulation predictor sticks from Amazon. Those digital ones are far too expensive every month, even if they are so much easier to read. I've seen pictures online of books people have taped cheap test strips into so the comparison test lines are always available.That sounds like a good idea, so I'm going to try it.

Also, I'm going to be more strict about cutting caffeine from my diet, and drinking the Fertilitea that I ordered. The package says to drink it 2-3 times a day, and I've rarely done that.

We'll see how this month goes. If June doesn't see a positive test, then it's time to look into some specialists because it will be one year of trying. Not looking forward to that...

This morning I asked Husband if he had rather spend $$$ on fertility treatments or adoption and he said treatments if they were guaranteed to work. They aren't. He also said he thought I was worried about it too soon, but I think it's realistic to be saving with those two options in mind. Hope for the best, plan for the worst, right? The only thing I know is that one day we'll have a baby. He or she just might not be knit together in my womb, and that's okay.